Sydney Thursday Times

Mr Roth, the postal order did not arrive as you promised. Editor

 

Hannibal Lecter

Having enjoyed reading Bar Stool Notions, I would dearly like to have Jonathan for dinner with a bottle of Chianti.

 

Berty Aherne

De lad is gud but his material lacks de intellectual promiscuity for de Irish reeder.

Ronald J. Trump

He’s hard to ignore but worth the effort.

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Salman Rushdy

Basically, I think he is a complete narcissist. He would give Dr. Gerard Keane a run for his money in the bullshit department of M & S. The facts speak for themselves, 4 books and not one single credible death threat?  I rest my case. I agree with him in one matter only, he truly has notions of himself.

Comrade Michael D. Higgins, Poet Lauerate, WW Ambassador, Pa

I thoroughly enjoyed scanning Roth’s introduction and the back page of Poems and Prose from beneath the Reek. Through the inspration of Roth’s words, the courage of his dissidence and the integrity of his pen Ireland has transitioned from a country of Gombeens to the foremost literary state in the west British Isles

Clonakilty Book Festival Review

Dear Mr. Roth

I am instructed by the committee to thank you for attending the festival launch and offering your book, *The Inconvenient Toes*, to attendees for a pint of stout in Fahety’s bar.

They have further instructed me to express their discomfort at your comment during your speech that, “West Cork people were only Kerry people who could afford strong shoes.” We don’t expect to see you again here in Clon. 

Sincerely,
Mary Healy Rae Murphy, 

Secretary

Die Welt: Ver Gut Jonathan. Vas does dis word Notions mean?

Irish Times: No, we will not review your books for a €10 Aldi voucher. Please stop emailing me. Editor

Roth is a strange reality to be faced with - The Spectator

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Excellent work by a brilliant unknown novice Irish writer but unfortunately the postal order was in euros and not dollars - New York Thymes

Mayo News: Stay up on the Reek there with your poem notions

Kilmeena GAA Journal: JR, Under 12’s training moved to 7.45pm after milking. Aine Regan has washed the socks but the colour ran in them.

Sunday World: JR, No tits. Won’t sell here. Try Crime.

Paris Literary Review: Monsieur Jon,  we do not agree with you that this book “The Inconvenient Toes” is similar to James Joyce’s Ulysses. Please stop sleeping outside our office. The smell is getting worse for the staff. Jerry Depardieu, Head of Security.

Penguin Wood Pulpers Publications

Mr Roth, please be clear, we have no intention of paying you a €5m advance for More Bar Stool Notions of Poetry from Himself . Stop sending us solicitor's letters and staff boxes of Cadbury All Sorts 500gm. Cc: Fry’s Solicitors

Eason Booksellers

Dear Mr. Roth,

We  have been receiving complaints from store managers that someone(?)  has been replacing books on the No 1 best sellers top shelf with copies of “The Inconvenient Toes“ .  Any comment before we release the cctv content?

Special Branch Super Super Intendent Sean Og O Fiácla 

Roth, We have a copy of The Inconvenient Toes and we are not happy. We know where you live and know that the battery on your push bicycle light is gone. Be very careful  now boy. We know the censor.

Gaby Woodstock, Chairman Booker Prize

Dear Jonathan, Thank you for your kInd letter and your praise for the Booker Award and your attendant €20 cheque. I fear you may misconstrue the nature of the Booker Award. The award is not by application and your offer of a bigger cheque will not achieve a long list entry. Sorry

Mícháel O’ Civil Servant, Dublin City Council

Dear Mr. Roth, I attach herewith a fixed penalty fine for illegal dumping of a book,Bar Stool Notions of Poetry by Jonathan Roth, in 340 locations in the county borough of Dublin. The diversity of the book dumps is unprecedented. Please stop writing.

Michäel “For the love of God“ Healy Rae

For the love of God what is this thing you'd be saying in Cork that West Cork people are only Kerry people who could afford strong shoes? Come here to me boy, if I catch you down here at the Puck Fair, it will be my shoe you’ll be removing from your arse in Killarney A & E.

Irish League of Decency

Jonathan my brother, Peace be with you and with your spirit.

Big Boss Frankie in the house in Rome asked me to pass on a message

He  loved The Inconvenient Toes  and especially the bits where the toes were put in the churches around Dublin. Not to break a confidence but  “Top Man JR“ was said 🙏

Patt Shorty Filums 

Jon, we haven't met but I read your books and what you said about Tipp people. ”You can’t be doing that lads“ You think you're a right funny man up there in Westport but I have friend Liamy Neary from Kilmeena and he a certain set of skills that will sort you out boy. He’d laugh at your best effort.

POTUS J O’Biden (Ballina Bidens)

OK Jeremy, Here’s the deal. Jill and my carer loved The Inconvenient Toes. The fact that we are both cousins from Co. Mayonaise makes the book even better. You probably haven’t heard in the old country that I’m retrityin soon and I want to do an Auto Burger, Biosphere….book about me. Can you do it? Whats the deal?  

Jay, Editor, Irish Independent

 Hey, yeah no. The guys in the arty dept said that a lot of our punters were writing in about your books and stuff. They want to do a review of the Toes book. Any chance you could summarise the book into three paragraphs to suit our readers and have no words beyond two syllables and eight letters? I’ll pay a years sub

ONOB©️, World Main Man & Dr. Kool & The Gang

 Hey Bro Jr, how are the glasses hanging. The Edge was saying in Finegans Pub that you are outselling my autobiography. Negative emotional output from me man. Let’s do lunch and hang. (Gigi won’t be there) 🕊️🕊️